The Similkameen News Leader
Editorial
January 8, 2008
30 POUNDS, GIVE OR TAKE
There's a very good reason why I don't make New Year's Resolutions.
Well, okay, there are a number of good reasons, the first one being that if I ever really wanted to do such a thing it would more than likely be a very long list.
Make that a V-E-R-Y long list.
The second reason is the simpler of the two had I ever been able to complete the list of resolutions, that is to say, manage to get them written down on paper I would stand a better chance of losing the list than fulfilling even the easiest of the listed resolutions.
Television commercials in January confirm for me why I don't make resolutions.
The weight I'm not going to lose will continue to be with me as we slowly transition from Year Y2K8 to Year Y2K9 and although I don't smoke the pressure put on us to use the New Year as a reason to
'fix' something in our lives is almost enough to get me started.
For a change I'd like to see K-Tel or Ronco or maybe that guy who yells at you about the magic sponge address something other than weight loss and stop smoking gadgets and deal with something more in tune with our real problems.
"Waste too much time on the Internet? Try our new Internet Time Out! It's a device that controls the time you spend online. That's right. Just set the timer for your desired time limit and once it's reached, your computer not only shuts off, it stays off until the next day or whenever you program it to come back on. That's the Internet Time Out! Just $19.99 + GST! Not available in stores, so be sure to order yours today and if you call our toll free number in the next 19
minutes. blah-blah-blah"
Or maybe we need a gadget to warn us when the batteries are low on the remote control so we don't miss our daily six-hour fix of television. Or a snow shovel with a battery-operated heater built into the blade end of the tool that helps when you have extra ice in the snow you're trying to move.
So back to those resolutions.
The word 'resolution' is defined as a 'firm decision to do or not to do something', which makes me think I may have actually been making them all the years I thought I wasn't. In fact, my
'firm decision' to not make any New Year's Resolutions is in reality the act of making a New Year's Resolution.
Argh!
I think I'm screwed here and I have decided to cave in and reexamine my priority related to those thirty pounds I've been carrying around for far too long.
A plan to lose them would be an easy resolution to make while failure to do so would make it an easy resolution to break. One cancels the other out and I'm back to learning about the extra absorbency of the magic sponge.
I can live with that.
