The Similkameen News Leader
Editorial
WE NEED OUR VERY OWN SUPER HERO
EDITORIAL - May 01, 2007
It had to have been the Batman marathon on cable that got us thinking about it.
Princeton needs some way to promote itself and maybe, just maybe, a corny idea of a homegrown super hero would do the trick.
As cute and user friendly as Peter Pine was, those pesky little pine beetles have pretty much put ol' Peter into retirement.
We're thinking something everyone could identify with and someone politically correct enough as to not offend any of those special interest groups. Well, maybe most of them.
Bylaw Enforcement Guy was one we thought of until we realized there'd be far too many villains. Mind you, it might make interesting reading if one week Bylaw Enforcement Guy took on The Noisy Neighbours and then the following week locked horns with Litterbug. Maybe a guest appearance from Graffiti Boy would make that one a little more interesting. Toss in a visit from Annoying Storekeeper and we're talking magical moments you couldn't get Hallmark to create.
Of course, the Signage Violators would have reoccurring roles to jazz things up just when it looks as if Bylaw Enforcement Guy gets everything under control.
Besides, the marketing department would probably come back saying something about the costume not being flashy enough and how weak the image would be outside the community if we tried to promote "we have a super hero cleaning up our town, one bylaw at a time. That's right one at a time!"
Mind you, we thought a giant logo of a hulking man waving a ticket book in your face with the slogan "Bylaw Enforcement Guy BEG, if you must" would be kind of cool with a snappy little jingle that would fire up out of nowhere like a cell phone ring tone lost in a sugar rush.
The jingle would buzz along and little angel voices would sing: If you insist on feeding the deer, if it's something you like to doSBylaw Enforcement Guy would really like to talk to you!!!
What if you saw an infraction of one of the gazillion bylaws that are on the books? Even those that date back to the good ol' days when the penalty for non-compliance (tee-hee - we couldn't resist!) was the surrender of one's cow or a ton of hay?
Well, first off you'd call the BEG's hotline or anonymous tip line. Hey, if he's our super hero he'll need his own phone number. Something cool like 295-HERO or 1-800-I-STOP-EM. And it would have to be a direct line to his Ticket Mansion or Ticket Cave or Ticket Mobile, or whatever the budget will allow this guy to have.
We could just about hear the conversation now.
"You've reached Bylaw Enforcement Guy's Tip Line. At the tone please leave a detailed message including the nature of the infraction, time and date of said infraction, whether or not you were able to capture video or digital photos of said infraction identifying which format your video or photos are in and name and number where you can be reached during the day and evening for verification purposes. Press Two for service in a language other than English. Bylaw Enforcement Guy is a registered trademark created by and owned entirely by Bengel Publishing Inc. Copyright 2007. Unauthorized use of the BEG logo, Bylaw Enforcement Guy name or character is a violation of said copyright. Check our website for Bylaw Enforcement Guy merchandise and safety tips. Visit www.BylawEnforcementGuy.ca and enter for your chance to win our Tip of the Day Contest. Official rules also posted on our website. If you are between the ages of 5 and 12 inquire about how you can join our 'Young Snitches' Club and win some pretty cool stuff."
BEEEEEEEEEP!
